The Blogman Cometh

Hello all, thanks for taking a look at my blog. Let me tell you about me, I am a 39 year old man, currently a full time student at CWI in Nampa Idaho. I am studying Business and am taking Spanish, Speech, Intro to Business, Algebra and English 101. I am single, been divorced twice, and both love and hate being single.  I have three wonderful kids, K-17, J-14, W-8. K lives with me full time, J & W I trade off with their mom every week.  I run my own business and could consider my self a reseller.  I sell used items online and locally in consignment shops.  My dream is to open my own store.  maybe one day. I date a lot, but normally just as friends.  Right now I guess you could say I have 5 women in my life.  I really care about one of them and the other four are just friends.  My daughter labels them by hair color as a joke and I will do the same here.

Blonde #1: This woman is awesome.  We only dated twice months ago.  But we text most days.  She is fighting cancer. She is probably the strongest person I have ever known and I find myself drawn to her like a moth to a flame.  She appears to feel the same.  We have tried to date multiple times, but she works for the Child Protection Agency and it almost seems like she gets calls every night.  Sometimes on the way to our dates.  What she does is so very important.  And I am cool with it.  This weekend is her birthday.  We will be meeting up (hopefully) for date #3.  It seems impossible to care for her this way with only surviving on TXT messages.  But I pray for her often and have walked though the fire with her during her times of need.  When you pray for someone that much, it is hard not to build feelings for them.  You might ask why would you get involved with someone fighting for their life.  When you are fighting for something you learn to appreciate it more.  Should someone in this place have to go though it alone.  She has made me realize just how important life is.

Blonde #2: This woman is probably my best friend. And I see her the most.  She is amazingly beautiful, like model beautiful.  But I really don't feel any attraction to her.  She can be a little self centered and tends to think of herself first.  She also suffers from severe depression, and questions her faith often.  I feel like God is trying to do something huge with her and she is constantly attacked. She finds herself in tough situations and needs strength.  I try to give it to her.  Lately I have been kind of frustrated with her.  To the point where I have been connecting with her less and less.  I am kind of at a loss with her.  I care and want her to be happy, but she is very much like the tide, coming and going and unpredictable.  She very seldom calls or texts just to see how I am doing, usually she contacts me needing something.  I almost feel used.  It is a tough one. I am her friend and will be her friend. But I can't open my heart at all, I don't think she would be good for it.

Blonde #3: A friend of Blonde #2 and we have been chatting and text a little, she is a nice but kind of wild lady, has a little bit of a party side (yes I have seen her with a drink in hand doing cat calls while standing on a chair lol), and is gereally fun to talk to.  She is going though alot of stress right now, She has a beautiful daughter who is 8, I will call her "A". A is a cute kid with a great personality but has been getting bullied alot at school, verbal, physical and racial.  #3 feels she needs to stand up for her daughter and is aggressively pursuing reform in the school district which is doing very little.  She is very stressed and has been sliding towards depression.  I have just been trying to be a friend to her.  I invited her and A over for dinner last friday, A and W played together, we all played a game of Disney Scene-It and then watched a movie. Problem is I haven't talked to her since I am getting a little worried. Depression is a very real problem.  I don't think she is severely depressed but one sign of severe depression is a withdraw from friends and family.  Just worried hope to hear from her soon.

Blonde #4: Just really started chatting and texting this lady, a friend of #2 and #3.  She is a Christian gal with some serious self forgiveness issues.  Things have happened in the past she can't forgive herself for.  I have been telling her that when she repented Christ forgave her, now she needs to do the same.  Forgiving oneself is very difficult.  She  is a great gal and we kid around a bunch.  Little concerned about her actually developing feeling for me, which is my main fear in every relationship that I encounter.  Going to have to be careful with this one, I don't want to break her heart.

Brunette #1: Thought I just liked blondes didn't you.  She is a nice gal, I met her at a party and we danced all evening.  This gal is unlike #2-4 and seems to have a pretty stable life, she has had a bad previous relationship and is in no hurry to have another one, which is fine by me.  This gal is the kind I feel like I can go out with and relax.  Not worry if it's going to be emotionally taxing.  I could see myself with her except for the fact she is not Christian.  Wonderful lady. Good to have as a friend.

So you noticed my "Christian" comments I hope. First and foremost that is what I am. A Christian Man. Just trying to do my best  to help make this world a little better.  One soul at a time.

In Christ,
Jim